“I am not my structure”

Project Description:

My stomach has been the part of my body that I am most self conscious about for as long as I can remember. I wore large clothes to hide it and I constantly wondered what other people thought of my figure. The way I found to calm these nerves was to diet. I went from eating anything I wanted one day, to only consuming 1500 calories the very next. It was extremely difficult at first, but I got the hang of it pretty quickly. I liked that I was still allowed to eat any food I wanted, but in strict moderation.

It took a while to learn how many calories each standard course contained. After every meal, I would run to Google to search how many calories were in each piece of food I ate, and I kept a daily list to remind me of what I already had. A few months later, I became familiar with the amount of calories per meal, and I began a routine. I learned that I like to do most of my eating in the evening, as that is when I am most stressed with schoolwork. I wanted to save whatever amount of calories I could until the end of the day. That is why I made sure to consumer no more than 600 calories before dinner, so the remaining 900 could be left for afterwards. This left me room for a hefty supper plus some extra snacks.

I learned from Steve and the What I Be project that I do not have to worry about the size of my stomach because I am more than that. I realized that it does not define me, and I should instead be dieting to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Leaving most of my calorie intake until the end of the day was not a wise decision, and I have since switched to eating most of my food in the morning and afternoon. This project was so meaningful to me and I am happy to no longer be insecure about my body, nor restricted to my 600:900 calorie structure.